Embracing a New Chapter: 7 Lessons Learned from Caring for My Elderly Parents

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Life often presents us with unexpected challenges and opportunities for growth. Recently, I made the significant decision to take a break from my career to relocate and care for my elderly parents. My father, 93, and my mother, 89, expressed a strong desire to spend their remaining years at home, and they could no longer do it alone. After nearly three decades of living in a different state, I felt a deep responsibility and calling to support them in this journey. This experience has been profoundly transformative, teaching me valuable lessons about myself, my values, and surprisingly, offering insights that are equally relevant to the business world.

This morning I read an article by HBR, Resume Gaps Still Matter and it inspired me to reflect on what I'm learning and how it can positively contribute to my next employer when this chapter is over and a new one begins.

The Power of Presence

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the power of being present. In the fast-paced world of business, we often get caught up in the hustle, prioritizing productivity and efficiency. However, caring for my parents has taught me the importance of slowing down, listening, and simply being there. This presence has not only strengthened our bond but also reminded me that genuine human connection and empathy are crucial, whether in personal relationships or professional settings.

Adaptability and Resilience

Caring for elderly parents requires a high degree of adaptability and resilience. They're less organized, so every day there is a new surprise that needs to be prioritized. There are constant changes and unexpected situations that demand quick thinking and flexibility. These qualities are just as essential in business. The ability to adapt to new circumstances, pivot strategies, and stay resilient in the face of challenges is key to long-term success. Embracing change rather than fearing it can lead to innovative solutions and new opportunities.

Patience and Understanding

Patience is a virtue that is tested daily in caregiving. Understanding the limitations and needs of my parents has required a great deal of patience and compassion. Almost every day I'm having to step away from a situation, take some deep breaths and clear my thinking so that I can move from the heart (where things tend to feel personal) and move it to the head (where I can solution through logic). This experience has highlighted the importance of patience in leadership and teamwork.

I’m also learning new ways to communicate. I need to slow down my responses and, in almost every conversation, do a quick assessment to determine their lucidity, where they are emotionally, and quickly adapt my responses to meet them where they are at any given moment. They may say (er, often say) unusual things that are unfiltered and perhaps even bordering on offensive, so I’m learning not to take it personally. Giving people the time they need to learn, grow, and adjust can foster a more supportive and productive work environment.

The Value of Support Systems

Navigating this journey alone would be incredibly challenging. I’ve leaned on family, friends, and community resources to provide me with the support I need in order to best care for my parents. Calls to my siblings and friends often start with, "Am I crazy or..." They are essential in keeping me grounded. Similarly, in business, having a strong support system is vital. Building a network of colleagues, mentors, and partners can provide guidance, support, and collaboration that drive success. No one achieves greatness alone.

Prioritizing What Matters

This experience has made me reflect deeply on my priorities. While career success is important, it pales in comparison to the well-being of loved ones. Balancing work and personal life is crucial. In business, it’s essential to prioritize tasks that align with core values and long-term goals. Focus on what truly matters, and let go of the rest.

Continuous Education and Future Readiness

In addition to investing time in caring for my parents, I am also dedicating time towards my love of continuous education. My goal, when this chapter ends and a new one begins, is to return to the workplace with fresh insights and the ability to add value by applying new technologies, like AI. I believe that staying informed about emerging trends and advancements is crucial for personal and professional development. Basically, I'm putting my oxygen mask on first before helping others.

Gratitude and Perspective

Lastly, caring for my parents has instilled a profound sense of gratitude and perspective. Every day, I’m reminded of the importance of cherishing the present moment and appreciating the journey. In business, maintaining a sense of gratitude can improve morale, foster a positive workplace culture, and enhance overall satisfaction. Perspective allows us to navigate setbacks with grace and stay focused on the bigger picture.

Taking a break from my career to care for my elderly parents has been one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my life. I'm hoping that I'm setting a good example for my children and that recruiters and hiring managers will view this 'break' with positivity. Thank you for being a part of my network and for your continued support.

Let’s continue to learn, grow, and thrive together.